The Difference Between Criticism and Requests

Not long ago, a teammate submitted a draft for a collaboration proposal. It wasn’t what I had in mind, and without thinking, I blurted out, “This doesn’t work.”

The room went silent. I could see the effort they had put in, but all they’d heard was that it wasn’t good enough. Worse, they had no idea how to make it better, and I didn’t offer a way forward.

That moment immediately reminded me of a powerful distinction I read about on Victor Cheng’s blog: criticism vs. request.

Criticism points backward—it highlights what went wrong. Requests point forward—they show what can be done differently next time.

Saying, “This doesn’t work,” shuts a person down. Even saying, “This doesn’t work—make it simpler next time,” often gets lost in the sting. But saying, “Next time, let’s use fewer words on the slides and highlight the key points in bold,” turns the same moment into a clear step forward. It transforms the feedback into guidance, not guilt.

At work—and in life—people rarely need reminders of what went wrong. They need direction on how to do it better.